March 14, 2019 - Thoughts

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This October will be 5 years since it happened and I am already thinking about it even though it's several months away. I can still visualize how things went down, as I was there when it happened.

I had just showed up at the Palliative Care Unit at the Raymond Hospital and Mom was there visiting with Jim and Jan, my second parents. I told Mom that I had brought supper for her and she came over to look at it. While I was telling her about the food, I suddenly noticed that his breathing had changed and I mentioned it.

The room went silent as we watched the breathing become less and less until it finally faded away. The food became forgotten and I sat down on the couch and cried for half an hour before I was actually able to leave. I also kissed his head three times and it didn't feel like him. I then went home, as I had taken the second vehicle up, and I walk in to find one of my mom's friends already there and scrubbing the kitchen floor! I couldn't deal with people, so I went downstairs and hid in my room. By that time, a friend had shown up and hung out with me in my room as I shared the news on Facebook and we went upstairs.

At some point, my little brother showed up after second parents went and got him and we all sat in the living room. Honestly, that's all I can remember about that night...


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