Through A Daughter's Eyes: Watching Dad's Valley of Cancer

I admit, I have not yet viewed 'Stardust City Rag' even though it's on my PVR rewady for me to watch. I also admit that I check the recaps of the episodes each week before I watch them on CTV Sci-Fi just so I can have a sense of what I will be viewing. The episode photos intrigued me, but that intrigue was quickly replaced by solemn remembrance once I read the most detailed episode recap I could find. What happened in the episode reminds me very much of a past that I have worked hard to heal from, but still retain the memories and feelings of. I do not hate Picard; I actually quite enjoy it, but this kind of a subject being addressed in a supposedly utopian future makes me pause and consider things. I know it's a science-fiction television show and nothing in it is real, but the subject of addiction and that which it affects is a very real subject that does provoke memories of a different era in my life. I have found peace with it, but it's invited a definite need ...

On January 29, 2017, I recieved a spiritual prompting during Sacrament Meeting in church that I needed to approach Mayor George Bohne that day and ask if I could spread Dad's ashes at Corner Lake. I followed the prompting and Mayor Bohne was surprised at me approaching him so earnestly, but gave permission and also said to let the CAO, Scott Barton know. and I did just that... Scott responded very quickly and very kindly... The weather was crap that year and my mom finally told me that dealing with the ashes would be too difficult for her, as she was still very much healing from the abuse. I ended up having to get the ashes delivered to me and I left them in the garage until I was able to get a friend of my mom's named Mabel to drive me out to the lake, as Mom figured I would be in no emotional shape to drive after doing that, and Mom and Alvin were off in B.C.. Mabel stayed in the car and I lugged the very heavy bag of ashes down to the shoreline, sat on the gras...

My dad got diagnosed with stage four cancer just last month and he wanted to keep things quiet and in the family, but I NEED support since I am the support for both of my parents and I NEED the support to keep me going and I know the Savior is a great support, but I would love and very much appreciate support from people on here too. I know that people may not know how to react to such news, but perhaps compassion, hugs, time, and continued kind words/support would be a start instead of awkwardly shunning us at church and in other public places and making us feel as if nobody cares but God and our wonderful Savior, Jesus Christ. Now, having the unconditional love and support of God and Christ is truly wonderful, but God created man and Christ Atoned for man so that they could learn and grow through opportunities presented. Though my dad's cancer is a terrible thing, it is also a wonderful opportunity to work on becoming what the Atonement has enabled us to become and the opportunit...

Being a caregiver to someone who is dying of a serious illness is exhausting and at some point, a lot of dying people need to go into care of have respite help because the caregiver or caregivers cannot handle the job anymore or they are burnt out from all the work. It is very rude when an outsider refers to the caregiver or caregivers as selfish and disgraceful for wanting to put the dying family member into care because providing the care is proving overwhelming. If outsiders want a say in the care of a dying person, they need to be willing to provide assistance to the family instead of just sitting on the outside and trying to tell the family of the dying person how to manage things. This story comes because my dad's best buddy, Steve Grainger of Lethbridge, visited and during his visit, I mentioned that my mom was tired and thinking of putting my dad in a community bed at Good Sams so she could rest, as caretaking was exhausting. Steve called me disgraceful and rude for sayin...

This October will be 5 years since it happened and I am already thinking about it even though it's several months away. I can still visualize how things went down, as I was there when it happened. I had just showed up at the Palliative Care Unit at the Raymond Hospital and Mom was there visiting with Jim and Jan, my second parents. I told Mom that I had brought supper for her and she came over to look at it. While I was telling her about the food, I suddenly noticed that his breathing had changed and I mentioned it. The room went silent as we watched the breathing become less and less until it finally faded away. The food became forgotten and I sat down on the couch and cried for half an hour before I was actually able to leave. I also kissed his head three times and it didn't feel like him. I then went home, as I had taken the second vehicle up, and I walk in to find one of my mom's friends already there and scrubbing the kitchen floor! I couldn't deal with people,...

I watched the premiere of 'The Conners' tonight and so many emotions filled my mind.... Roseanne Conner died of an opiod overdose, a fatal consequence of an untreated addiction that she managed to get others to feed. My birth father died of Stage 4 cancer of the adrenal gland, which was caused by years of alcohol and sometimes drug abuse. He drank even after he was diagnosed and he also mixed booze and pain pills, so his decline was quick, painful, and sometimes psychotic. I am familiar with what death by addiction can do to a family. After the death of my birth father, my family was left with nothing and we managed to score a rental trailer for a year and later on, an apartment in the city when Mom and I both made the decision to pursue There were a few points in the movie where the family finds stashes of Roseanne's pills all over the house and they quickly realize how deep her addiction was. It reminded me of how my birth father used to hide bottles of any kind all...

12:37 p.m. - Dad was in Palliative at this point and not communicating, but he did say, "Let's go."

2:23 p.m.: Dad woke up from his sleep for a minute when I kissed him on the forehead and grabbed his hand. I said, "Shh, it's all right, let the angels carry you." 6:11 p.m. - Dad is agitated.

I felt prompted in church to find a quiet place and sing 'A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief' while recording it on my phone and get it to Dad, so I did exactly that. Brother and Sister Drew, Terry Gallais, and Aunt Sharon are visiting with Dad right now.

Mom and I took Dad for a drive into Lethbridge this evening and it was just the three of us, as Bobby had moved into Lethbridge while I was in Salt Lake.

While I was down in Salt Lake City for General Conference, I paid a visit to Harmony Beck and her family in West Jordan. I ended up getting a blessing from Harmony's dad and in the blessing, it said that, "Your father will soon be safely in the Lord's arms," and I had a horrible feeling that Dad was going to die soon, but he wouldn't die yet. My trip had been full of worries that Dad would die while I was away from the house, but the Lord knows better than I.

For Family Home Evening, I watched a little bit of Dancing With the Stars with Mom and Dad before they left.

We decided to go home today because Dad was so weak and Mom did not want him to die across the border, as it would have been a nightmare to get him back to Canada. We checked out and quickly made our way home, getting home in the early afternoon. I was on my way out to the car to leave when I noticed a lady who was wearing a nice skirt and shirt. I commented that she was dressed for church and it turned out she and her husband were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who were coming up from near St. George, Utah to do some trailer camping in Banff for a bit. We talked about families, I told her my dad was dying of cancer, and she was very kind about it and reminded me that I would see him again. We also talked about family history and that I had done my dad's genealogy, that I helped with proxy sealings in the Cardston Temple one day a week, and how it was rare for someone my age to enjoy genealogy and family history things. She gave me her contact info and...

Dad came out of the hotel with us today and we went for a drive around Great Falls.

Mom, Dad, and I left Shelby around 10 a.m. or so after taking Dad to breakfast at the Country Skillet, which was somewhat difficult because he had trouble walking and didn't want people to help him, but I argued with the staff and made them hold the door open for him. We got to Great Falls in the afternoon and stayed in a hotel called the Crystal Inn and Suites that was on a hill across the highway from the airport and was above the city. Mom and Dad shared a room and I got my own room.

It started out as a quiet day and suddenly, Dad told Mom he wanted to go to Great Falls and told me I wasn't going. A few minutes later, however, Dad asked me if I wanted to go and I didn't have a lot of time to decide. The Spirit told me that it was right to go and I swiftly cancelled my time at the temple and felt right about going, as I felt like it would be Dad's last vacation away from home. We stopped in Shelby, Montana for the night and stayed up at this really nice Comfort Inn hotel up at the top of the hill and also went to the Country Skillet Restaurant for supper.

I got some KFC with Mom and Bobby and took it home for all of us to eat since Dad was too grouchy to go on a picnic and we had homemade potato and macaroni salad with the KFC.

Family Home Evening consisted of eating dinner and watching a couple episodes of Undercover Boss together while Dad slept.

Dad had an echo cardiogram at Chinook Cardiology and it's an ultrasound of the heart. His blood pressure is 121/81, which is really good.

I took Dad some things for the night, hugged him, and told him that I love him. Mom had called me and asked me to bring things from home and from Fas Gas for Dad and I did without complaint.