October 14, 2014

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Dad went back to the hospital after being persuaded to by a close friend because he wasn't feeling well and Mom and I visited him at 8 p.m.. We took him out for a smoke and I told him that the counselor I am seeing said that my crying for his (Dad's) pending death shows that I have love for Dad and that it should bring comfort to him, which it did.

I love Dad lots and am sad about him dying, but it's sadder to see him suffer as he is suffering.

A resident came in and we discussed care options, ultimately choosing to go with everything short of life-saving measures being offered to Dad while he is there. Dad was afraid to even come to the hospital because he is afraid that he wouldn;'t ever come out, which he may not at this point.

When Mom was rubbing Dad's feet afterwards, he said he was trying to figure out what direction he should go and trying to figure out what he should do.

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